How to Navigate The Festive Period & Family Dynamics During the Christmas Season.
- Sally Cross
- Dec 10, 2024
- 3 min read
By Sally Cross, Therapeutic Life & Relationship Coach for the Midlife & Senior Years.
Today we look at the 4th verse of Fiona's poem:
'Ho Ho Ho'
By Fiona Shuttleworth
See The happy family
around the Christmas tree
Sharing gifts and stories
the love is clear to see
A Turkey feast
A gin or Two
Maybe a glass of wine
Some Christmas cake
A glass of port
And everyone is fine
A fun filled day
That some might say is
Blessed family time
See the friend in torture
With hands upon her head
Another family party
She wishes she was dead
A sister who torments her
A brother that’s estranged
A dad who does not care for her
Another year not there
The musics playing loudly
And the chatter so intense
She doesn’t want to be around
Dress up or be immense
The festive season is often celebrated as a time of joyous gatherings. However, for many, it can stir up feelings of discomfort and loneliness, particularly in cases of estranged family dynamics. Navigating these complex relationships during this time can be challenging. Here we explore insights and practical suggestions for those experiencing family difficulties at Christmas time.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step in dealing with estrangement during Christmas is to acknowledge your feelings. It's completely normal to experience a range of emotions, such as grief, loss, anger or sadness. Recognise that these emotions are valid and acknowledge them.
During this festive time, we may be reminded of family gatherings, through music, films and advertisements, which can intensify feelings of exclusion and sadness for those who are estranged. Allow yourself to feel whatever arises. Whether you choose to journal, talk to friends, or seek help from a professional, expressing these emotions can be beneficial.
Set Boundaries
If you’re contemplating reconnections during the Christmas season, setting clear boundaries is essential. Family time may cause stress, so by limiting gatherings or defining specific conditions for your comfort can be helpful. Establishing these boundaries helps protect your emotional well-being while navigating the complexities of familial relationships.
Create Your Own Traditions
When family gatherings are not feasible, consider establishing your own traditions at this time of year. This can be an opportunity to focus on what brings you joy.
Some ideas could be arranging a 'potluck' with friends, or engaging in fun activities with or without friends. By embracing your autonomy, you can empower yourself and cultivate a meaningful festive experience in the absence of traditional family events.
Seek Support
Building a support system is important when dealing with estranged family dynamics, particularly during this time. Surround yourself with good friends, colleagues or community members who understand your situation and can provide support and encouragement. Engaging with others can help ease any feelings of loneliness.
The Power of Forgiveness
Though it may seem daunting, considering forgiveness can bring comfort to you and lighten your 'stress load' during the festive season. This doesn't mean you condone past actions or forget painful experiences, but it’s about releasing the weight of holding onto any anger or resentment, which no longer serves you well.
This could mean letting go of past grievances or contemplating future reconciliation. Finding peace within yourself can be a transformative experience during this time.
A Personal Reflection
By acknowledging your feelings, setting boundaries, creating new traditions, seeking support and exploring forgiveness, you can create a more fulfilling festive experience.
This Christmas, allow it to be a time of self-discovery rather than merely reflecting on what's missing. Embrace the unfamiliar territory with confidence, and you might find unexpected joy in the freedom from traditional family gatherings.
Would you like help in creating healthy boundaries?
Are you needing support in grief, loss, estrangement?
Would you like support in journeying through your emotions?
I am here to help, support and guide you through what can be a challenging time of year.
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