Talking Taboo: Fears & Insecurities for You & in Your Relationship.
- Sally Cross
- Mar 21
- 2 min read
By Sally Cross, Therapeutic Intimacy & Relationship Coach
Fears & Insecurities – For Yourself & Your Partner
Fear and insecurity show up in every relationship at some point. Whether it’s fear of rejection, abandonment or not being “enough,” these emotions can create distance if left unspoken. But when handled with care, they can actually bring you closer.
For Yourself:
Sit with Your Feelings, Don’t Run from Them
Instead of pushing fears away or pretending they don’t exist, take a moment to sit with them.
Ask yourself: Where do I feel this in my body? What is this fear trying to tell me?
When we allow emotions to be felt, they lose their grip on us.
Recognise Your Worth
Fear and insecurity often whisper the lie that we aren’t enough.
But your worth isn’t based on how others see you, how much you give, or whether someone chooses you—it’s already within you.
No relationship defines you; your value remains, whether you’re single, in love or healing.
Take Ownership – Fear is Yours to Heal, Not Theirs to Fix
It’s easy to believe that if our partner just reassured us more, we’d feel secure. But true security comes from within.
Start noticing your triggers: Does this fear come from my past or my present?
Self-soothing techniques, like deep breathing, writing feelings into a journal or grounding exercises can help you respond, rather than react.
You are responsible for learning to trust yourself.
For Your Partner
Create a Safe Space for Open Conversations
When your partner shares a fear, don’t rush to fix it or dismiss it—really listen.
Instead of just saying “Don’t worry about it”, try: “I hear you, and I want to understand what’s making you feel this way.”
Emotional safety isn’t just about words—it’s about consistency, patience, and being present when they need reassurance.
Encourage Self-Belief & Self-Trust
Reassurance is important, but what’s more powerful is helping your partner build their own belief in themselves.
Instead of only saying “You have nothing to worry about”, try: “I believe in you. You are strong, capable and worthy of love.”
Remind them of times they overcame their fears—help them see their own resilience.
Open Communication is Key – Silence Creates Distance
Insecurity thrives in silence. The more we hold fears in, the bigger they feel.
Instead of assuming your partner knows your needs, express them with honesty and kindness.
A great question to ask each other: “What can we do together to make this relationship feel even safer and stronger?”
Love is built through understanding—not just when things are easy, but especially when fears arise.
Closing Thought
Fears and insecurities don’t mean something is wrong with you or your relationship. When faced with honesty, patience, and love, they can actually strengthen trust. The key is to work with them, not against them.
Are fears and insecurities holding you back from a relationship and life that you desire?
Do you need someone to talk?
I’m here for you…
Drop me a line : Email: sally@sallycross.com
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