The Shadow-side of Christmas: Guiding You Through Grief.
- Sally Cross
- Dec 7, 2024
- 3 min read
By Sally Cross, Therapeutic Life & Relationship Coach for the Midlife & Senior Years.
Natural Change Coaching.
Continuing with my shadow-side of Christmas theme, we take a look at the 2nd verse of Fiona Shuttleworth's emotionally charged poem, which she kindly wrote for me and presents it here to share with you:
Ho Ho Ho
By Fiona Shuttleworth
'See The happy family
around the Christmas tree
Sharing gifts and stories
the love is clear to see
A Turkey feast
A gin or Two
Maybe a glass of wine
Some Christmas cake
A glass of port
And everyone is fine
A fun filled day
That some might say is
Blessed family time
See the crying daughter
Tucked up inside her quilt
Contemplating Christmas
And pushing through the guilt
Her mum just died a week ago
She doesn’t want to move
But Christmas is upon us
What should she have to prove?
To pause her grief
And raise a glass
To Santa and his sleigh
Forced to smile and join the fun
Cos that’s what people say'
Christmas time can be a painful reminder of the loss of a loved one, deep emotional feelings of grief and sadness. This grieving journey is not easy, and seeking non-judgemental support can be a helpful step in managing grief during this difficult time.
Understanding Grief
Grief is a deeply personal journey, and it's manifestations can vary widely from person to person. During the festive season, reminders of loved ones can be particularly overwhelming, as families gather and traditions are enjoyed. It’s essential to acknowledge and accept that feeling sadness, longing or even anger is a normal part of the grieving process.
Many people may feel pressured to maintain a facade of joy, but it is important to permit oneself to grieve. Understanding that, alleviates feelings of isolation and encourages individuals to seek the support they need.
A Supportive Environment
While it may feel challenging, developing a supportive environment can significantly help in managing grief. This can begin with open communication among family and friends. Sharing your feelings can help others in understanding your emotional states.
Seeking Professional Help
Navigating grief alone can be daunting. Engaging with a professional can provide non-judgemental support in a safe environment, a place for you to be heard. Therapeutic coaches, grief counsellors or psychotherapists are equipped with the skills to guide you through this tumultuous period.
Coping Strategies to Manage Grief
There are several coping strategies that may aid in navigating grief during the Christmas season:
Allow Yourself to Feel: Give yourself permission to experience grief as it comes. Emotions may fluctuate, and that’s perfectly okay.
Set Boundaries: If participating in certain activities feels overwhelming, set some boundaries. Communicate with your family and friends about what you feel comfortable doing.
Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being. This can include mindfulness, gentle exercise or journaling.
Seek Professional Guidance: If feelings of grief become too overwhelming, consider seeking help from a professional.
By utilising these strategies and recognising the value of professional support, managing grief during the festive season can become a more manageable journey.
If you would like someone to talk to, someone supportive, non-judgemental, who can guide you through the emotional roller-coaster of grief, in a safe, confidential space, I'm here for you..
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