The Shifting Sands of Midlife Friendships
- Sally Cross
- 6 days ago
- 2 min read
By Sally Cross, Author of Books and Writer of Blogs on Midlife.
Friendships are such an important part of our lives. They hold our stories, our laughter, our tears, our secrets. Yet, as we reach midlife, many of us notice that friendships can begin to shift. Some feel stronger and more profound than ever before, while others fade away, leaving us to wonder what happened.
The truth is, change in friendships is not only common — it’s natural.
Why Friendships Change in Midlife:
Life in our 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond looks very different to our earlier years. We may be navigating:
Children flying the nest (or moving back in again).
Divorce, separation, or rekindling long-term relationships.
Career changes, retirement, or the desire to slow down.
Health challenges, both physical and emotional.
A longing to reconnect with who we really are.
All of these shifts ripple into our friendships. A friend we once saw every day at the school gates, or in our work, may no longer be part of our routine. The person we bonded with over late-night clubbing might not feel so aligned when we’d rather sip herbal tea than tequila shots!
Sometimes friendships drift simply because our priorities change. Other times, we outgrow connections that no longer support our growth.
It’s Not a Failure:
Here’s the thing: outgrowing a friendship doesn’t mean it was never valuable. It served a purpose, a season, perhaps even saved us in ways we didn’t realise at the time. Releasing it doesn’t erase its worth. Instead, it creates space for friendships that resonate with who we are now.
The Gift of Midlife Friendships:
What I love about this stage of life is the clarity it brings. We begin to crave relationships that feel authentic. No more playing small or twisting ourselves into knots to “fit in.” The friendships that thrive are often those where we can show up as our messy, magnificent, midlife selves, unfiltered and unapologetic.
The laughter feels deeper, the conversations more real. These are the friendships that remind us we are not alone in navigating the storms and sunshine of midlife.
Reflection Prompt:
Take a moment to consider:
Which friendships in your life feel nourishing right now?
Are there connections that feel heavy, draining, or one-sided?
Where might you need to release, or lean in?
Friendships are living, breathing things. They grow, evolve, and sometimes end. In midlife, it’s not about holding on at all costs, it’s about honouring what was, embracing what is, and opening our hearts to what’s yet to come.
✨ In my next blog, I’ll be diving into authenticity in friendships — how being real, honest, and unapologetically you can transform the way you connect with others.
Sally x
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